Monday, October 11, 2010


Please don’t think I was spared any grief because I lost my baby before I met her

I loved her from the moment I knew she was growing inside of me

Please don’t say I should be over it by now, that I should be ready to move on

There is a hole in my life where she should be, and my heart just isn’t complete

Please don’t tell me that something was probably wrong with my baby

I don’t care; I would have loved her no matter what

Please don’t continue to ask me if I am pregnant again, or when I will be

Each month brings its own disappointment, without the added pressure

Please know that seeing pregnant women can be painful, new babies can be too

Each one is a reminder of what I lost, what I want and do not have

Please understand that to you my feelings may be irrational, even insane

That doesn’t make the pain any less real to me

Please don’t brush my loss under the rug, and act as if it never happened

It’s a reality in my life, I am reminded of it daily, and don’t get to forget

Please remember that I am grieving and trying to heal

It is an unpredictable process, and it will take some time

Please don’t be afraid to say the word miscarriage in front of me

I know what happened to me, and I need you to acknowledge it too

Please let me talk about my baby and my pregnancy and my loss

It might seem uncomfortable, but it is the only way I can heal

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