Saturday, October 30, 2010

An Eye Opening Experience

There was a time in my life where I thought making and having a baby was always a beautiful experience, it's amazing how in an instant that ideology was snatched away. I learned first hand that just because I was blessed with being pregnant, that didn't mean I would be blessed with having a baby, and that just because I became a parent, that didn't mean I would get to meet my child in this lifetime. More importantly my eyes have been opened, they have been opened to the fact that not every woman who wants to carry life inside of her will, and not every woman who wants to be a mommy gets to be. I often wonder if those ladies who get pregnant by accident or on the first try truly realize how lucky they are? Because I have come across many women who were not as lucky. I know women who have tried year after painful year to have children, I know women who have suffered more miscarriages than they have living children, I know women who's babies lives have been taken due to a tumor, cyst, or fibroid, I know women who have given birth to still children, I know women who only held their baby for mere hours or minutes before that child took their last breath, I know women who have been diagnosed with diseases which will never allow them to carry their own children, I know women whose lifelong dream of motherhood has been snatched away by fertility. It has shown me that the road to becoming a parent can be littered with obstacles, sorrow, anger, turmoil, and heartache. For those of you who have had beautiful, boring journeys, I am immensely happy, but I also think that it is important that we realize that not everyone gets to walk that same happy road.

1 comment:

  1. I really struggled with the immense guilt I felt that I was able to conceive without trying vs. the anxiety and stress I felt in the midst of an unplanned pg. In one minute, I'd think to myself, 'I'm not ready for this, God!' and 'Thank you, God, for blessing me with this child even when I did not plan or expect her.'

    I often wonder how it will be the next time (if I am so fortunate) when we are actually trying to have a baby. Will I be able to conceive as easily? Will I actually enjoy the pg that time?

    You are a great writer, Maria. *hugs* You and Michael will be and already are great parents, too.