As I near my third Mother's Day (one without a child), I still find myself feeling a little bit of dread as Sunday approaches; As thankful as I am to be able to celebrate with my rainbow baby, there is still part of me that aches to celebrate with two children. That slight dread has me thinking back to my first Mother's Day after my miscarriage, the Mother's Day that I knew I couldn't bear to see the other moms at church receive flowers, the Mother's Day I knew I couldn't hear "Happy Mother's Day" due to my noticeable belly, but not for the baby I had lost, the Mother's Day where I literally had to get out of town to stay sane and protect my own heart. Yes! You read that right, my hubby literally took me out of town for the weekend to get away from it all because I wasn't sure I could handle it, and if you need to do the same, that is OKAY! But maybe heading to a big city for the weekend isn't a possibility for you, maybe you just stay home, pig out, watch movies, and just be with your significant other; maybe you spend the day in a secluded park or beach; maybe you spend the weekend camping; maybe you plan a day with those who you know will be understanding of what you are feeling; maybe you plan a celebration with other baby loss Mamma's; maybe you spend the day planting a memorial garden for your lost child; maybe you spend the day doing something or anything special in memory of your angel. Mother's Day will no doubt be painful, but it is okay to take steps to guard your own heart, to know the limits of what you can emotionally handle that day and be firm in that, and most importantly it is okay to cry.
And to those of you who know someone who has lost a child, one of those moms who experience pain on Mother's Day instead of a joyful celebrations of motherhood, acknowledge her and her child; Send a card, a special note, flowers, or even a memorial gift in honor of her baby (my hubby bought me a ring with our babes name on it, and that is one of my most precious gifts). Holidays are incredibly painful, and Mother's Day can be one of the worst after the loss of her child, your thoughtfulness in remembering your loved one will mean the world to her and ease some of the pain she is inevitably feeling.